ramblings

Also, the iPad 2 looks great, despite rumors that the iPad 3 is going to be something to "sing and dance about."

Also, my dad was 100% sure that spiders couldn't have more than two eyes.

Also, I persevered somehow through all my classes, an Activity Period spent in Physics per my own decision, actually worked on art in art, stayed after for two hours and legitimately worked on the yearbook, got a chunk of my homework done before dinner, and also participated in the weekly prayer meeting.

And then decided to look at the iPad ads, talked to my parents about it and inspected the new packages I un-boxed today, talked to my brother on FaceTime with the rest of the fam, and now I'm here.

How productive :) if only I could fit a good half hour to one hour of running in today. Not to mention that I still have to finish a French assignment and study for a Statistics quiz...but it will get done.

I have faith.

hush.

Original and uninspired by anything else but pure imagination, pure creativity, pure thought: don't try and tell me you're a hacker if all your programs are downloaded, you had to buy a keygen in order to bypass registration codes, and you need to Google methods before jailbreaking your iPod. And yes, you did have an iPod before you realized you wanted to make a "name" for yourself.

Following that line of sight, your futile attempts to water down Apple's genius and Microsoft's imminent loss of customers are both amusing and childish. It used to be taboo to include the names of your rivals in advertisements; Apple single-handedly changed this. And why? Because the outdated are scared. Your precious Zunes wouldn't even exist without Apple inspiring competitors. Deal with the facts--consumer satisfaction drives the business. Clearly, Apple has the advantage.

aesthetics

How much does "beauty in the eye of the beholder" dominate my life?

I am partial to not leaving the house unless I assemble a well-balanced ensemble. My taste changes sporadically, but the same few elements remain. When I do clean, I proceed like a madman. If my room is not proportionally correct; if what's arranged on my desk is not in some systematic order that fits the confines of my mentally-established regulations, I am not satisfied. I print like a typewriter. All letters must be uniform; if one takes on an italic slant, the rest follow. I must write either in the exact center of the line, or following the bottom (the latter is new, I haven't touched "ground" on a lined piece of paper in years). My bed must be made and symmetric. Lighting apparatus, pristine. Technology, silver or black. Matching. Rounded edges. Slim. Innovative. Pleasing to the eye. Everything, blank and unbranded; if it must be labeled, the font must be agreeable, never Papyrus, preferably sans serif. Dust? Abominable. Fingerprints? Unless placed intentionally, never. My ideal living space is that of the Apple Store. I want simple on the brink of complexity.

Maybe that's why I love the snow. Pure, untouched, nature's unstoppable dusting. The epitome of seamless, the epitome of beauty.

Where I fail, nature is unwaveringly flawless. Where I fail, God is perfect.

happy spring break!

After probably my most stressful school-related three weeks, ever, I think I've gained my motivation back. Well...mostly this pertains to the fact that spring break officially starts NOW for me because I'm leaving early for vacation tomorrow morning, thus skipping our last half-day :).

Kinda floating in between states of mind at the moment. I'm pretty sure I'm more progressively becoming boring and losing all the passion that used to characterize my sporadic tantrums and biased rants and whatnot. I like mellowing out, but I feel the media clone inside of me reemerging; I'm in the middle of one of my conformity phases. Which perfectly explains why I currently know every song on the radio.

Besides this (which I don't mind, so long as I keep some degree of my personality pure...priorities...right...ramble ramble ramble.), I've decided that I cannot write freely anymore. Everything I have spat out on paper this past year has been extremely liberal or conservative, or both in succession (pretty sure my teachers think I'm nuts). I have grown so accustomed to immediately developing a controversial, biased, powerful thesis that nothing I now write is neutral. Further contradicting my current attitude towards everything.

I don't know. All I know is that I can either write very skillfully and completely lose myself (I rarely share the opinions I side with in writing) or appease a crowd of people and write something pleasant but not very striking.

So what am I saying?

Absolutely nothing. I think I'm kind of lost right now, but a good room cleaning/reflection should snap me out of this lethargic movement. May I mention that I've been playing Neopets for the past three days? Only a little, but...yeah. Haha.

Okay, going to take a nap...I really want McDonald's Sweet Tea. Yes, I'm listening to a commercial for it on the radio. But, yum.

Hopefully Californian air somewhat refreshes me?

parfait

California sounds perfect right now, rain or shine (see fashiontoast's latest entry to see what caused this reaction in me, again. Sigh).

Darned northeast weather...if you're going to snow, start now so I won't have school again tomorrow! Three of my teachers just rained on my parade (haha) by assigning a bulk of homework "due the next time I see you," which could possibly be tomorrow. Though I highly doubt it: great.

I also spent the majority of my morning painting my nails different ways with the same colors. Not very productive (I tried doing Economics homework while it was drying but ended up erasing the whole thing and rewriting it), and everything kept smearing so I finally took most of my ingenious (ha) navy blue/midnight blue manicure off, but not before I spilled polish on the textbook.

Cooooool.

different names for the same thing

I once had an AIM username, "tintmegrey."

I have a penchant for the European spelling of "gray," not because I am so in love with the culture and British accents and tea with the queen, but because I am one of those people who are only good at English due to my ability to recognize what "looks right" or "sounds right." Comparing my elementary public school education to one of my friends' elementary private school education, I find that she has legitimately learned proper grammar rules while I take what seems to be wild guesses...and yet we are still somehow at the same level.

But back to my point. Along with this "looks right" habit I developed came color-associated learning. I would even like to name it synesthesia (read The Beautiful Miscellaneous if you want a good fiction book on it), except it's not prevalent enough to be called that. I somewhat connect colors to letters in certain contexts.

Take 'gray' and 'grey,' for example. When I read the word 'gray,' even as I am typing it, I see a word that is grey, yes, except with a slightly red hue. When I read the word 'grey,' however, I see what is my favorite shade of grey--a more neutral, slightly green-based color. The warm shade of grey, in my eyes, is not truly the grey I think of when I think of grey (tongue twister), and thus I am much more inclined to use the spelling 'grey,' rather than 'gray.'

There's actually a fairly large chance this has to do with how the letter 'e' fills up more space than the letter 'a' (when I write it, at least). I'm not sure, but it's a thought.

So why would I care so much about the spelling? Well, it happens that grey is my favorite color. I hesitate to say this to people I've just met; it's one of the worst ice-breaker answers you can give ("What's your favorite color?" "Grey." "Oh...mine's yellow."), always presenting the first impression that you are a boring soul with no friends. I'm always asked, "Why grey? Why not something more, um, colorful?" and explaining why I love it so much is more than difficult.

A person's favorite color can tell you a lot about them, but when that color is grey, things become cloudy. I agree. It's a strange color...but that's why I'm so attracted to it. First of all, and probably the simplest way to say it; grey can contain shades of any color. You can have a very pale, light grey (predominately white) or a dark grey (less white). But in between these colors are endless variations of grey; if you have Photoshop or any image editing program, you know. When you use the colors tool (eyedropper, whatever) to select the exact hue you want, if you run your mouse along the grey area, there is a clear distinction between red-greys, blue-greys, yellow-greys, and so on. It's the most versatile color, being able to adopt both colorless and colorful traits!

And how can we forget the beautiful, metallic silver? The ultimate industrial color, no? The laptop I'm typing away on is silver. The desktop computer five feet away from me is silver. Our television set is silver, our DVD player is silver, our keys are silver, our phones are silver-plated, this and that and this and that are all silver. It is the everywhere, it is aesthetically pleasing, and when one cannot decide between white or black, what does he/she choose? The agreeable, one-fit-for-all silver.

Admittedly, this can say a lot about me. But I'm not really inclined to expand on myself right now, especially using a color metaphor (I may save that for college, ha ha ha...), so I'll let you assume what you want. But of course, you'll never be completely right...because grey is never completely one thing.

Hehe :)

Back to my main point. I once had an AIM username, "tintmegrey." I used it for maybe a year or two (back when I still had instant messaging I could never stick to one username for long, so this is pretty impressive), never really thinking about how the spelling might confuse other people.

One day, I'm minding my own business when someone named "tintmegray" shoots me an instant message, and playfully jabs at me, claiming that "you stole my username!" I figured out pretty quickly who it was, and the person gave me access to the account in case I ever wanted to use it, and then told me something that still cracks me up.

"By the way," my friend said, "when I created the account and signed in for the first time, about six people messaged me and asked why I was never online and that this was the first time they've ever talked to me! So...you should probably tell them that that wasn't you."

For two years, I had friends trying to contact me on the wrong account...all because of a silly spelling. Maybe not funny to you, but absolutely hilarious to me because most people knew how anal I was about how I specifically spelled things, especially that one word.

Since then I've lightened up, but...good times. :D

calminality

Today's another one of those really peaceful, calm, quiet days. I got my timed, hour-long AP Lang homework assignment done, and then started to browse online/finish a movie when I found out...there's no school tomorrow, either :)!

Amazing feeling. I'm going to take the rest of the day off (but I probably won't, because my conscious is already nagging for me to finish yesterday's homework...it's going to start piling up), and then maybe head to the gym for the first time in ages, aha, and then finish my latest (and favorite, thus far!) oil painting at class today.

Pure bliss. (And it's going to snow tomorrow night and throughout Wednesday, meaning my 4.5 day weekend will be extended a couple more days, hopefully!)

But back to the movie I was watching--Paris, Je T'aime. I started it a month or two ago and never finished it; it's easy to stop and start because it's a compilation of short stories, and it has to be one of the cutest yet grounded films I've seen. It resembles Love Actually, except in French and with a lot of random situations thrown in. I love the fact that it takes place in almost all the neighborhoods that make up Paris, which I didn't actually notice until towards the end, and that all the stories share a commonality in style and simplicity. Definitely worth a watch.

France has this impeccable and captivating charm that is pretty indescribable. Maybe it has to do with housing le Tour Eiffel, being a major fashion capital, the art-form that food is in the nation, the laid-back lifestyle everyone picks up there, having both gorgeous countrysides and these worn, beautiful cities...or maybe it just has to do with how lovely the language is, by itself.

It's hard to put into words, but I do know that I want to live there for at least a few months of my life. I'm not exactly sure how I ventured into this topic, but I do know it's something I'm pretty passionate about. These types of days are my favorite--I wouldn't call them lazy, since I have gotten (a little) work done, but the majority of the day leads to much reflection, whether outward or inward.

Onto New York, I Love You! I don't expect it to possess the same charm as PJT, but I'm excited to see Orlando Bloom on film for the first time since Pirates of the Caribbean. Yum!

bien sur

;r yr,[d rdy ;r gsvyrit [toptoysotr/

cynic

This "change-your-profile-picture-to-your-celebrity-doppelganger" thing happening on Facebook has been amusing me very, very much. So much that I have to share my true feelings about it via an online journal...right.

From what I observe, everyone has been leaving generous comments on whoever is participating in this thing's profile pictures. They all go like this:

"Oh, I can totally see it!"
"You look just like him/her!"

And my personal favorite...
"name youve changed girl sexi" (to which another person tartly remarked, "yeah, that's not name".) (to which the original commenter replied, "yes it is...") (hahahahasldkjei4)

For all of these, the original person who uploaded this picture replies,
"Thanks! I don't think I look like him/her, but everyone else does so I decided to use it." or "Thanks! I don't think I look like him/her, but my friends made me use it."

This, I think, is hilarious...if a person doesn't look like you, then he/she DOES NOT LOOK LIKE YOU. And to find a true, authentic, wow-I-seriously-thought-that-was-you doppelganger is rare. Super, super, super rare. And also, no one is forcing you to do anything. These two facts both support my first point: THIS IS A STUPID EVENT.

The second thing that really bothers me about this is that it looks like everybody on my Facebook friends ("friends") list taking this event seriously has found the hottest person of the same ethnicity and gender as them and uploaded a very Photoshopped, airbrushed, flattering picture of said celebrity to represent themselves. Or they have used that silly My Heritage program/application online and picked their favorite result (this is also completely inaccurate, I've tried it a couple years ago) and done the same thing.

Introducing point two: are you trying to imply that you look as good as the person in your profile picture? Are you implying you are lust-worthy material, a boy or girl that millions of teenagers around the world faint and wet their pants over the sight of (okay and what does this imply about you as a person...huh)? Do you truly believe that you resemble this person in any way? Except perhaps the fact that you both have hair (CRAZY!!!!!)?

Or are you trying to flatter yourself?

I have no intentions of targeting any particular person, and I have seen about three accurate doppelgangers (which is pretty impressive), and I do know that a lot of people are only doing this for fun and use this as a humorous, self-deprecating mechanism...I'm just stating that I think this is the dumbest thing since Napoleon Dynamite. The one movie I truly, absolutely hated. (See related: Dumb and Dumber)

Okay, maybe I've been stuck inside for too long and therefore have to rant...yep...I think that might be it. But despite all excuses about being a jerk, and to be completely serious, for the ones who actually think they look like Megan Fox or Channing Tatum: ouvrir vos yeux, s'il vous plait.

Open your eyes.

overwhelmed (a bit)

1) The 7th grade welcome night for youth group went pretty well, I think. Games could have gone smoother, but I'm not going to blame anyone for that...Seems like I'll be helping with it from now on, so I'll just say it'll only get better :). Learn from experience, yes?

2) I was super-duper nervous about small groups, since this was the first time I've lead as an actual...leader; however my group is very talkative (surprisingly), and I think we'll all click nicely. Seeing we already have. Yeah :).

3) My mommy's kind of stressing me out about my whole birthday party situation. I've never been one to have huge extravagant bashes, however for my 16th I do feel like I should at least acknowledge that I'm aging. Supposedly 16 is a very sweet year, but I kind of doubt that seeing I'm taking APs for the first time and my pick was probably not the best...But it seems that at the moment, the most likely thing that will happen is maybe a shopping trip in the morning with a few girls and a dinner at night with a bunch of church people. Perhaps a movie and some random games at my place? It's way too small to host anything in, though (in my opinion). I'd like to do something with school friends only, too, and I guess I have time to think of something? I never really do, though, which is a real shame. School really does get in the way of things, though. I don't want anything complicated else I will become the reason for incomplete homework assignments and lack of thorough studying...Yeahhh...

4) On that note, I was going to get snowboarding gear for my birthday (kind of a stretch, since if that's my birthday present, what the heck was my 50d/Gretsch? Ha, ha), and since Ski Bum has a huge sale next weekend I mentioned it to my mom. Money's pretty tight since Dartmouth's tuition skyrocketed and this is Austin's last year (good thing, bad thing) so my mom was pretty hesitant about discussing it--the reason why she brought up my birthday plans...I think she expects me to do something crazy and expensive? But if I don't get equip now, I guess it's not a big deal since I have plenty of time before ski ways open and I've time to learn how to properly board. Where there's a will, there's a way :) so no worries from me! I'm glad I'm calm about this already. I was kind of scared I'd start writing a huge complaining, spoiled-brat post. Hopefully this is kind of different from that.

5) Did I mention I start driving on the 9th? I'm SO. EXCITED. There was this huge issue of me maybe not being able to learn before my birthday, but seeing I end the driving portion on the 22nd of September, it should be no problem. Thank God :) if I wasn't going to finish in time, it would be a huge problem come time for me to drive alone, and being able to go to school by myself during DSTPs (HA. NO MORE READING/WRITING/MATH FOR ME!!!) and for tennis season, workload permitted. Ja ja ja so this is all very intriguing to me. Also, apparently my driving partner is a sophomore...interesting.

6) My family and I are going to Rehoboth/Lewes tomorrow :). It'll be fun; I've only been to the beach once this summer, I think? I love the ocean, though...I definitely plan on spending time there in the winter and spring, when I can drive myself places. There's no point in living along the coast if you don't fully take advantage of it. So I'd also like to start visiting more beaches in the area soon? But anyway, tomorrow will most likely be a shopping-oriented trip. I am in dire need of a new wardrobe ;).

7) I think waiting is a good thing.