aftermath

(via hillsong digital booklet)

day thirteen

Your favorite musician and why

When I was reading my old posts the other day, I actually found one that answered this question (though only for one of my favorites). I guess I could redirect, but that's too easy, so here's a shorter explanation for my top three, who have been my constant rotating favorites over the course of a few years.

• Incubus because of raw emotion
• Hillsong because of raw passion
• John Mayer because of raw musicality

I'm trying/starting to branch out, though. If anyone has suggestions, feel free to tell me! :)

day eighteen

Whatever tickles your fancy

I've been running, trying to be one who sees

I've been working salvation out of my knees

There is nothing better than knowing

We are redeemed

I'm believing, trusting in Creative Hands

I am praying for our world to bow to Your plan

And this one thought is unmistakeable

I take up my cross and follow You, Lord

When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow

When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still

And I see the sinner seek devotion, the lost become chosen

And I fall to my knees

I'm forgiven by a Savior who did not deserve death

He was blameless, and I was lost in shamefulness

I'm delivered, but it doesn't seem right

Unless I keep my eyes focused on the Savior who gave His life

In the middle of a world that denies it believes

It is breaking apart at the very seams

There is one thing to be alive for,

And it's to take up my cross and follow You, Lord

When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow

When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still

And I see the sinner seek devotion, the lost become chosen

And I fall to my knees

And I fall to my knees

I will take up my cross and follow, Lord where You lead me

I will take up my cross and follow wherever You go

When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow

When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still

And I see the sinner seek devotion, the lost become chosen

And I fall to my knees

When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow

When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still

And I see the sinner seek devotion, the lost become chosen

And I fall to my knees

And I fall to my knees

Lord, You bring me to my knees...

...I found a place, caught in open arms

Where love's embrace mends a broken heart

Here I will stay, all my days

Draw me closer

so grateful.

I have a tendency of absorbing other's emotions and regurgitating them at a x10 amplified level. A little weird, but if you ever see me screaming out of happiness or extremely undoubtedly upset, 99% of the time, the situation has nothing to do with me.

So without further ado, Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV): "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

He is so, so in control, always giving us more than what we deserve in the most creative ways--in the most effective ways--to help us understand how much He actually really, completely, truly loves us.

I don't want to be a volcano of pure bliss when things aren't confirmed yet, but it looks like I won't be going to China this summer :(...but it's a perfectly acceptable opportunity cost for something like this, especially because the benefits of not going admittedly have always outweighed the costs of going. Thank you so, so much, Father. And as if I needed anymore motivation (perpetually, actually!), this is perfect. So, so perfect.

My ten-ish hours of homework, on the other hand, is nothing close to perfect, BUT! No reason to complain. Ever. How lucky am I to have a world-class education mapped out for me?

Incredibly.

(PS: Hillsong United was nothing short of amazing two nights ago. As if life cannot get any better. See the April 16th devotion in My Utmost for His Highest for more. And even crazier, this all ties in with last night's Bible study to form a very, very successfully enlightening and words-cannot-describe weekend.)

(PPS: Also, I can now officially drive alone. Continual prayer for my (and everyone around me...) safety, please!)

salvation is here

Salvation that died just to set me free...

Just got back from the Delaware Valley Joint Youth Retreat, which occurs once every three years...I believe that the last one I went to, in 2007, was my second winter retreat since joining the youth group. Pretty ridiculous; I can't grasp how much has changed since then.

I don't want to ramble on and on about this, especially because I hate admitting that things are over (and that I probably will not be able to attend another joint retreat ever again) and I'm avoiding all the "I miss you!"s at the moment since I feel like it was just too early to say goodbye to everyone I spent the weekend with :(.

On the plus side, this was maybe the first drama-free retreat I've been to in a while, though winter retreats are usually more mellow than spring retreats. It was a good feeling to just sink back from day-to-day living (although I've been out of school for ten? days now) and just learn and smile.

Something I have to be very thankful about is praise. In preparation of last night's candlelight service/worship session, I had been continuously praying for a humble heart...from what it felt like three years ago, and the mentality/vibes I had picked up on, it almost seemed as if the one-praise-team-per-worship-session schedule was a show-and-tell of whose praise team is the best. And even besides that, the whole notion that most churches don't mingle (or at least when we have our normal retreats, our sister church usually stays with themselves, and for the most part, we do, too) made me a bit hesitant. But to cut a long story short, "Give me a humble heart" was maybe the most repetitive part of my prayers for a while now, and after what was essentially months of practice, it all paid off. One audience, one God.

I almost think I could do it again, even though I've mainly retired from playing the keyboard for praise. But I am so, so glad that everyone proved my preconceptions wrong and the weekend just flowed wonderfully--the insightful messages, interesting workshop, welcoming churches...I'm just so glad right now.

I can't even say I'm at a spiritual "high" right now, but I am very thankful and I feel like a new side of this whole fellowship business has been properly revealed to me. I know I've gained something unlike what I come out of from normal retreats, and I am convinced it will last.

I am so glad.

the i heart revolution

I bought my first Hillsong CD at 7:29pm this evening. Technically it was purchased on iTunes, but legally nonetheless! It's been over a year since I gave up downloading songs using LimeWire, but I had never gotten around to buying anything new (or anything at all, to be truthful) from Hillsong, so it's nice to finally have one of their CDs checked off of my ever-growing list of music to get.

I suppose I should give an introduction, since it's a little weird to just jump back into the blogging scene without any explanation... To make a long story short, I've been a blogger on Xanga since June of 2004, and I very recently decided to quit using the site altogether. I'd been planning to switch to Blogger or Wordpress since Xanga, in my opinion, has pretty much deteriorated from what it once was, and since I already have a Gmail account and have been following fashion blogs on here for some time, I figured I'd go with Blogger (for the time being; I have a feeling I may switch to Wordpress sometime in the future...). Anywhoo, I'm fully aware that I pretty much lost any audience I once had, but I think I'm fine with that. This gives me a new start, which I very much like :). Except I'm trying to use proper grammar, a.k.a. capitalizing words, which is something I rarely do, so I may drop that along the way...

Back on topic; I've been listening to the CD ever since I bought it, with a few pauses (I'm still not done!), and I have to say that I love the intensity of the whole thing. It's a live album, and I know I'm late to buy it, but I'm pretty sure this is going to be one of the Christian albums that continually hits home with me. At least, I hope it does...

On another note, I was thinking of this video clip that one of the kids who came from California to visit/help out with our church's VBS showed me; he attended a Hillsong United concert in LA and took a video of the stage. It pretty much was simply a video of lights flashing around the crowd, but it was freaking awesome. You could feel the energy through his phone. If heaven is even 1/1000 of how amazing a HU concert looks (and of course it will be the opposite; Hillsong will be absolutely nothing compared to heaven), then I am so ready to be up there praising God. Really.

I also know this is no excuse to justify lack of passion in my life or within my church or anything of the sort, but when the Cali kids came over, their passion for Christ was so evident...I feel like it has something to do with the region in general; with so many people, and being able to make fellowship with all these huge Asian communities, and so many events to constantly renew passion, how could you not be so enthusiastic for Him? But of course that thinking is flawed in many ways, since spiritual highs are not what we seek, but a steady "hot"ness for God, and one side of the world is not any more privileged to love God more than the other...that would make no sense.

Anyhow, I want that passion. And I'll strive for it until I get it. I can feel it building and bubbling up in me already...I want to be a part of His master plan. Not a lukewarm Christian, but someone who honestly loves Him with every fiber of her being. I want to be a part of the revolution.

I heart revolution.