ouch

"So when people say college is awesome do you think it's because they have a blast praising God? It's cause they can sin and get away with it so easily."

day twenty-seven

A picture of you last year and now and how you've changed since then?

2010 Winter Retreat (photo courtesy the Lins)

2011 Winter Retreat (photo again courtesy the Lins)

I'm still playing the piano. I'm still in a small group. I'm still active in the church. I'm still a scarf person. I still French braid my hair as a default. I still have that awkward, forced camera smile. I still have that heart ring on. I still use the same keyboard. I still love retreats.

I'm not playing the piano against my will anymore. I'm not just in a small group for retreats; I'm leading a small group. I'm more active in church than I originally planned to be, all glory to God. I don't buy scarfs anymore, I'm gifted them...I am slowly switching to a messy, amateur fishtail braid. I am actually genuinely happy before a camera, awkward smile or not. That heart ring has welded into a part of me, not just as an accessory. I don't need the transpose button anymore, though I may chose to use it in tight spots and last-second key changes. I will likely not be attending another WCEC+WCCEC winter retreat again, ever.

I was sixteen, I am seventeen. I was set on one college, I am open to God's options for me. I thought I understood sacrifice, I am learning to give some more each day. I was using a Dell, I am using a Mac. I had a Versa that I guarded with my life, I have an iPhone 4 that I guard with my life. I overpacked and wore my bat-wing sweater way too much, I still wear my bat-wing sweater but pack more conservatively. I slept late by choice, I sleep late by force. I did my homework on a bed, I do my homework on a dining table. And on, and on, and on. But:

I was a Christian, I am a Christian.

Some things never change.

day twenty-one

A photo of something that makes you happy

(Photo from Wikipedia)

I don't really know how to emphasize this. Today was spent with two church fellowships in Philadelphia (I did have a fantastic interview right before our hangout, though), ending with the concert I mentioned two posts below. Being with other Christians for a full day is really energizing, especially those with a passion for praise...not sure what to say other than our God is good. I hope I can be more bold about this.

I'm really tired right now, so that's it. I don't think I'm going to get around to my interview log today, either...

cheers!

There's nothing more exciting than seeing a friend's Facebook "religious belief" go from Agnostic to Protestant! Of course the implications vary, but in this specific circumstance, I think it's definitely worth being happy about :)

Celebratory statistics/dance party ensues now!

day twenty-one

A recipe

How to be satisfied no matter what college decision you receive:

Step One: Trust Him and His ultimate plan for you

Step Two: Immerse yourself in His Word

Step Three: Believe in His Word

Step Four: Love Him :)

realignment

I'm one step closer to discovering His plan for me. Praise Him :).

day eighteen

Whatever tickles your fancy

I've been running, trying to be one who sees

I've been working salvation out of my knees

There is nothing better than knowing

We are redeemed

I'm believing, trusting in Creative Hands

I am praying for our world to bow to Your plan

And this one thought is unmistakeable

I take up my cross and follow You, Lord

When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow

When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still

And I see the sinner seek devotion, the lost become chosen

And I fall to my knees

I'm forgiven by a Savior who did not deserve death

He was blameless, and I was lost in shamefulness

I'm delivered, but it doesn't seem right

Unless I keep my eyes focused on the Savior who gave His life

In the middle of a world that denies it believes

It is breaking apart at the very seams

There is one thing to be alive for,

And it's to take up my cross and follow You, Lord

When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow

When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still

And I see the sinner seek devotion, the lost become chosen

And I fall to my knees

And I fall to my knees

I will take up my cross and follow, Lord where You lead me

I will take up my cross and follow wherever You go

When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow

When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still

And I see the sinner seek devotion, the lost become chosen

And I fall to my knees

When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow

When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still

And I see the sinner seek devotion, the lost become chosen

And I fall to my knees

And I fall to my knees

Lord, You bring me to my knees...

...I found a place, caught in open arms

Where love's embrace mends a broken heart

Here I will stay, all my days

Draw me closer

simple truths

I believe because I was lost, and now I am found. I believe because I craved that insatiable attention that humans are unequipped to fulfill; I believe because I was at the end of my false relationship with humanity. I believe because I lost trust in myself, because I could not differentiate whether what came out of my mouth was a result of my perpetual search for loopholes or whether it was genuine truth, and because I was swaying on the edge of disaster. I believe because I implicitly knew the real truth--we all know the real truth--and I believe because my time came to realize it. I believe because He died for my sins and willingly hung himself on a bloody cross laden with adulteries, murders, blasphemies, and every type of disgusting human folly. I believe because He saved me...metaphorically and physically. I believe because no boulder of doubt, no scientific "proof," and no downturn in life can take His love away from me.

I believe because I was lost, and now I am found.