graduated!

Somehow, I made it. And I love this song; lyric irrelevancy aside, it's so uplifting. I just fell asleep and woke up to it :) and now I'm just soaking up the last four years...wow.

unregrets

Not going to see the Script on Friday...multiple reasons, but ultimately, although it would be the best graduation present and my parents had already approved this last-minute offer, I'm deciding against it.

It's sort of killing me since I love the Script as of late, but there will always be other opportunities :).

Meanwhile, today was graduation practice and I have a feeling we are all horribly unprepared, but that's the beauty of it, no? Our class has never been one to over-prepare and winging it seems like the best possible solution. I love the elevens. It's definitely bittersweet saying goodbye. And I'm listening to For the First Time again so it's not helping much.

Also, Spring Retreat went well. We had YLF and something about how Francis Chan says it's appalling to say "you're my favorite speaker" clicked. Our speaker, Thomas Wong, was fantastic, but ultimately, FC is right--all glory to God and how He works despite our shortcomings. Being able to speak with my roommate, the only female filling our post-college adult gap in the church...that was also very eye-opening and quite a nice experience. I'm excited to see how God changes and works in me in college, though that's not to say I get to ignore the present-day situations. But it really does feel like a new start, a reality check.

Anyway, prayer meeting in a few. I'll end here. It seems like a chapter of my life is closing...and it really is.

last official day...

My shoes for graduation finally arrived! The Alexa by MMK :) super psyched, except that they're a tad bit big so I have to stop by Nordstrom when bringing the other pair back (I bought my dress and shoes in twos to ensure correct sizing...as long as returns aren't a hassle, doing this has given me more peace of mind than ever before, yay) and see if they possibly have the next size down.

Ready. I can't believe I'm a graduating high school seniors. It's been four years. I'm done.

I'm done. :)

day seventeen

A photo of you and your family

(From left to right: Mom, me, Dartmouth President Jim Kim, brother, President's wife, Dad)

@ Austin's graduation weekend :) this is actually one of the only pictures we have of us together, and it includes two other people...I need to get on the family portrait train and take a nice one soon!

drive

I sort of didn't think I would have to begin feeling the burdens of being a senior until September, maybe August. Sunday disproved this. Despite not really having massive responsibilities until autumn rolls around (okay, who am I kidding), I'm still having a slight panic-attack and know this summer needs to be a period of mental, emotional, and spiritual preparation. But shouldn't I always be preparing for leadership roles? To act as a manifestation of Christ?

Thanks for the wake-up call, God. I hope...know that You'll lead me through this successfully. (Whether I do more good than damage is another story, however.)

Eep. I have one remaining final on Wednesday, and then I can officially think of myself as a senior. I am a senior, technically speaking, because the class of '10 graduated on Saturday. What ever happened to the self-assurance that I would become this mature, interesting, knowledgeable individual by the time three years of high school had passed?

WHAT'S GOING ON???

Not to say that I am not grateful; I am completely, 100% in thankful disbelief (over many things, though this was definitely the hardest hit). Who knew I'd even be alive in 2010? Just, wow.

Old song, but whatever tomorrow brings...I won't be there with open arms and open eyes. I'm already here.

family

Today I was looking at a Facebook album of my friend's youth group (from Rhode Island)'s hiking trip. There's something about the photos that just emits vibes of togetherness. I've been long jealous of the relationships that church has, but over time I've come to accept my youth group family for what it is: a family, just a different type than the Rhode Island kids'. We probably couldn't do the same things that they do; I don't think hiking would work well with our people, but we do bond in our own way, even if we aren't the same as that other youth group. And I love our youth group so, so much. Today is proof; I just got home from a 7? hour hangout with a bunch of the kids in our area (and a few who ventured pretty far to come). We pretty much just watched "Laputa" and "Get Smart" and played Killer. And I fell asleep. But it's times like these that I treasure; times I know I'm going to miss.

It's hard to think of graduating...but in all honesty I'm only a year away from being a senior. I get nostalgic so, so easily, and thinking about it just throws me into this whirlwind of thoughts. So many of my friends (especially from church) have graduated, and they stick around and I get to see them enough to not get sad, but I know that as I get closer to being a senior and more and more of my peers graduate (the upcoming class of seniors is a huge chunk of our church's youth group, and I've been tight with them for 10 years, probably more), I'm going to see a lot of these people a lot less. It's pretty depressing, but I'm clinging onto the thought that one day, if I never see them again, we'll be reunited in heaven for the most wonderful time to ever exist.

And that's what I'm holding onto.