04 September 2010

palo alto

I think this mini-vacation I'm taking right now has come at the absolute most perfect time. School has just started and I've already begun drowning, so California has come as a sunny redeemer for the moment. This trip is giving me time to do the opposite of think (this is hard to explain; Haiti was second after second of intense thought simply because of the starkly contrasting environment we were working in, and ever since then, I've needed some sort of outlet. I haven't actually spoken to anyone fully about my experience, and it's been overflowing out of me in little spills here and there), but refocus at the same time. The hardest thing is to stop complaining...I've seen what my life could have been like--desolate and unjust--and yet I keep accidentally reverting to the disgusting habit of whining that I have so immaculately developed over the years. I hate it.

Tomorrow is, in essence, my last day here. Although it really is too soon, I feel like I need to be getting back home about now. Senior year is my time to work. Three days in paradise is all I need. I'm slowly rediscovering my place.

This is maybe the most choppy thing I've ever written. I'm getting there.

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