deprived

I had a packed, experimental summer filled with emotions and thoughts and ideas I didn't know I was capable of having...but what I feel, more than anything else, is that I missed and lost all my home friends in the process.

All the outings, annual trips, spontaneous get-togethers? I missed them all. I missed every meaningful summer moment that I have been so accustomed to gathering on a routine basis, and now, a good number of my beloveds have already left, some of whom I last saw in early June.

As for those who remain, it's not such an exaggeration to say that I won't see them before they leave. I find that I am of no importance to them anymore. What else explains the lack of communication for seven weeks? Of course it isn't fair to say that, since I could have easily initiated any conversation, but I did try with a few, and everything ended in an uncomfortable silence that now lingers.

I feel betrayed. The feeling will pass, but I feel betrayed. I can't put my faith in people anymore.