calminality

Today's another one of those really peaceful, calm, quiet days. I got my timed, hour-long AP Lang homework assignment done, and then started to browse online/finish a movie when I found out...there's no school tomorrow, either :)!

Amazing feeling. I'm going to take the rest of the day off (but I probably won't, because my conscious is already nagging for me to finish yesterday's homework...it's going to start piling up), and then maybe head to the gym for the first time in ages, aha, and then finish my latest (and favorite, thus far!) oil painting at class today.

Pure bliss. (And it's going to snow tomorrow night and throughout Wednesday, meaning my 4.5 day weekend will be extended a couple more days, hopefully!)

But back to the movie I was watching--Paris, Je T'aime. I started it a month or two ago and never finished it; it's easy to stop and start because it's a compilation of short stories, and it has to be one of the cutest yet grounded films I've seen. It resembles Love Actually, except in French and with a lot of random situations thrown in. I love the fact that it takes place in almost all the neighborhoods that make up Paris, which I didn't actually notice until towards the end, and that all the stories share a commonality in style and simplicity. Definitely worth a watch.

France has this impeccable and captivating charm that is pretty indescribable. Maybe it has to do with housing le Tour Eiffel, being a major fashion capital, the art-form that food is in the nation, the laid-back lifestyle everyone picks up there, having both gorgeous countrysides and these worn, beautiful cities...or maybe it just has to do with how lovely the language is, by itself.

It's hard to put into words, but I do know that I want to live there for at least a few months of my life. I'm not exactly sure how I ventured into this topic, but I do know it's something I'm pretty passionate about. These types of days are my favorite--I wouldn't call them lazy, since I have gotten (a little) work done, but the majority of the day leads to much reflection, whether outward or inward.

Onto New York, I Love You! I don't expect it to possess the same charm as PJT, but I'm excited to see Orlando Bloom on film for the first time since Pirates of the Caribbean. Yum!

views

1) I'm pretty hostile when it comes to past relationships (friendships with [mutual] attraction especially). This mindset is terrible, but I always feel like whoever comes after me is supposed to make me jealous or act as a version 2.0 of whatever I was to whomever. And so I get bitter easily, always am under the impression that I'm being one-upped, or feel just plain replaced. It's so selfish, but I even think this way in terms of normal friendships. If someone I'm good friends makes a new friend and so much as talks to her, I feel like I'm being replaced. It's stupid, but it's true.

2) Tomorrow (today, technically, and I can't seem to get the timestamp correct on my blog, but that's not important) I have my annual physical. I think I gain about 5lbs each year...this year being no exception. The only difference is the weight gain is very recent; say within the past two weeks, and so I know I'll lose it as soon as I stop stressing about all the tiny details in my life. Usually I dread physical check-ups, but I'm kind of excited to see how fat I am now. It gives me a ton of motivation. A little messed up, I'll admit, but it usually works.

3) The Thanksgiving movie is pretty much complete. I'm surprised we fit all the rest of the important scenes in today; there are literally only one or two more things to complete, and then a few extra side-projects to work on to make it go smoother. However, I've learned that I am a very controlling person when it comes to deadlines, and that it is possible to finish what seems impossible in a short amount of time. Hoorah!

4) I already said this while talking to one of my bests, but knowing people read what I blog sometimes takes away from how honest I am. Not to say that I immediately put up a mask, since that in no way is true, but I do moderate many of the things I'd like to talk about. Anyway, I know that a few people may be reading this, but I've decided that if I go touchy on topics...tough luck. I'm not begging, let alone asking, for readers, so if you choose to read then what you see is not my concern. A bit harsh, but I'm off Xanga and one of the things I had to do daily was make sure that my posts were everyone-appropriate...not implying that I want to change that, but for example it would be hard for me to write a post on my suicide attempt, or anything related to it, knowing that a good chunk of people I know would be reading it and asking one-too-many questions in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But I suppose that since you've managed to find me, or even take the time to read what I say, I'm not to complain or get angry/defensive/weird if I'm asked questions of what I've written about.

5) Hi, I know you're reading this, and I just wanted to say that I love you! :)

Okay bye.